


Longing for Valinor

by lhunuial



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 16:41:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8453914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lhunuial/pseuds/lhunuial
Summary: Galadriel reminisces about her life, recounting several important events happening in the Silmarillion, and longs to go home, but doesn't know if she will ever be allowed to do that.





	

~***~

 

_"I sang of leaves, of leaves of gold and leaves of gold there grew:_  
 _Of wind I sang, a wind there came and in the branches blew_.  
 _Beyond the Sun, beyond the Moon, the foam was on the Sea,_  
 _And by the strand of Ilmarin there grew a golden Tree._  
 _Beneath the stars of Ever-eve in Eldamar it shone,_  
 _In Eldamar beside the walls of Elven Tirion.  
_  
 _There long the golden leaves have grown upon the branching years,_  
 _While here beyond the Sundering Seas now fall the Elven tears_  
 _O Lórien! The Winter comes, the bare and leafless Day;_  
 _The leaves are falling in the stream, the River flows away._  
 _O Lórien! Too long have I dwelt upon this Hither Shore_  
 _And in a fading crown have twined the golden elanor._  
 _But if of ships I should sing, what ship would come to me,_  
 _What ship would bear me ever back across so wide a Sea?"_

 

~***~

 

The world was changing. It could be felt in the clear water, it could be felt in the old soils of the earth and one could smell it in the air. Nothing was like the times that used to be. Of those times only memories remained. Happy they were, but also sad, for that was all they were: Memories. All that once had been, was now lost until the changing of Arda.

The time of the Elves was over. Autumn had come for the Elves that still remained in Middle Earth.

Autumn too  came to the small forest kingdom of Lothlórien. The leaves of the trees  turned  golden. Birds  sang songs of leaving to the warm south and most of them had already left, or were in the middle of their journey, while others still had to go. Arien, the Maia that carried the sun, travelled down the sky to make room for Tilion who pulled the Moon along as the night would come. Nevertheless Anar’s evening rays still filled the world with warmth and light.

Underneath the roof of golden leaves, near the waters of her well, stood the greatest of the Noldor that still lived in the lands of Middle Earth: Galadriel, the White Lady of Lothlórien. She sought some time alone for a while to dwell within the mazes of her own thoughts and had done so near her Mirror.

Memories of the ages floated through her mind. She recalled her youth in Eldamar where she dwelled until the Darkening of Valinor, which she thought would last forever and when she was overcome by the desire to leave; when she had been proud, strong and self-willed and dream t  of far away realms that could be hers to command at her will ,  when she followed her dear brother Finrod and her uncle Fëanor into exile and came to fall under the Doom of Mandos.

A black day it was in history when the Kinslaying took place at the hands of Fëanor and his House. How hard she fought to defend her mother’s kin against the merciless attack and the robbing of their ships. She held their spiritless bodies in her arms and saw the fierceness and pride of Fëanor that knew no bounds. From that moment on she refused to turn back to Valinor, like her father had done. From that moment on she would follow Fëanor to wherever lands he would go and she would shower her wrath upon him.

But even in Middle Earth the darkness followed the Noldor. Their language was banned from the lands after King Elu Thingol learned of the Kinslaying.  T hey took part in the many battles with Morgoth the First Dark Lord. Her beloved brother Finrod was slain by the hands of Sauron and soon after also her brethren Orodreth, Angrod and Aegnor fell as well.

Yet the days of Morgoth came to an end during the War of Wrath when he was overthrown and cast into the Void, to never come out of his prison again until after the Ending of Arda. The Noldor were permitted to return to Valinor, save for the chieftains of the rebellions. And she, still proud, had refused again to return and decided to stay in Middle Earth where she saw the rising and fall of Númenor and where she saw the coming of Annatar and how the Elven smiths of Eregion forged the Rings of Power. Firsthand, she saw how Annatar betrayed the Elves by forging the One Ring and revealed himself to be Sauron.

Sauron rose to become the Second Dark Lord and filled the world of Middle Earth again with darkness. In that time she received Nenya, the Ring of Adamant and became its Keeper and Guardian. Long and passionate were her labours to oppose Sauron.  She  witnessed the forging of the Last Alliance of Elves and Men and how Isildur cut the Ring of Sauron’s hand and put an end to the War. Later on Isildur was killed and the Ring was lost. Peace was in Middle Earth for a long time. But it would not last forever.

Now it seemed that Sauron had returned to Middle Earth. And it was not on the Elves to stop him, for their time was over. And here she was, last of the Exiles that still remained in Middle Earth, for all of her kin that had come with her out of Valinor had perished. She was the only one who had survived. The Doom of Mandos was still upon her. The pride that had brought her to rebel against the Valar was now gone, for she had received everything that she could have wished for in her youth. Finally she had a realm of her own, but now the desire came in her heart to sail over the Sea and to return to Valinor. She longed to return to the place where she had spend her youth and where the rest of her kin was, where all the beautiful things of the world now were and where they would always be unblemished, where nothing would fade, like Middle Earth was doomed to fade…

Valinor.

Valinor, with its golden trees and evergreen plains of grass and with strands of pure gold…

The place she wanted to return to, but which was the only place she was not allowed to go to.

~***~

“Galadriel…”

A young clear voice shook the landscape of her memories and dreams to bring her back to the landscape of reality rather harshly. Slowly she became aware of her surroundings again and turned around to face the person who had called her name.

In front of her stood a tall Eldar lord, with hair of shining gold. His face was fair and young, fearless and full of joy. His blue eyes were bright and keen. The voice he had spoken with was musical. Yet no matter how young he seemed, there was wisdom on his brow and in his hand strength was shown. He elegantly walked down the stairs that led to her well and came to stand near her.

“Glorfindel,” she spoke in the same manner. “What are you doing here?”

He bowed his head slightly and replied. “I have come to tell you that Arwen and I will soon depart for Imladris.”

When she did not say anything regarding the matter of her granddaughter’s departing to the home of her father, Glorfindel stepped closer towards the Lady of Lórien. A frown appeared on his fair face and his eyes showed concern. “Galadriel, is something wrong?”

She shook her head and gave the Noldo a smile. “Nay, I am fine. I was merely thinking… Of Valinor.”

“Of Valinor?”

“Yes.” Galadriel looked up at the sky through the golden leaves of the Mellyrn and sighed deeply. She stood there silently and serene, like a swan upon the water and it was there that Glorfindel saw the grief that Galadriel carried with her, the burden of the Doom of Mandos bestowed upon her so long ago.

“Do you long to return to the West?”

“Yes,” she answered as she turned around to face the young Eldar lord again, in whom she saw the pureness and the grace of Valinor that she had once known and had once had as well. “Angrod and Aegnor have passed, as has Orodreth and Felagund is no more. All that once was is lost. I have fulfilled my dreams but one and my heart is not yet sure if the last will be presented to me. No longer have I the pride that spoke for me when I was offered a chance to return to Valinor after the War of Wrath. The years of exile weigh heavy upon my heart. But I am not allowed to return to the land of my birth.”

With her blue eyes that showed wisdom and beauty of many years, sparkling like the stars of Elbereth she looked at Glorfindel, who shared a likeness with herself, bearing similar golden hair and who had known the lands of Valinor himself as well. “What has the golden House of Finarfin done wrong that I, who was born in the Blessed Realm, should stay here and wait for forgiveness for acts that were done long ago? Will I ever lay eyes upon the shores of Eldamar again? Would there be a ship to take me there? I have no hope of returning to the Blessed Realm.”

Glorfindel stood silently before her and listened to the voice of her heart. He had seen that the White Lady was troubled and why was not hard to see. His was not the voice of the Valar, nor could he know what their plans  were for Middle Earth.  N either could he say anything about the decisions they had made in the past. How could he comfort this fair lady, greatest of the Noldo that were left in the realm of Middle Earth?

Gracefully and gently he reached out and touched her face with a reverence that he had never done before. “There is nothing I can say about the decisions of the powers, but I can say, Galadriel, that the Valar see and know everything. Even if you went astray and rebelled against Valinor so many ages ago, I know that they will also see your hard labours as opponent of the darkness of Morgoth and the darkness of Sauron. And for that the House of Finarfin should be recommended. I know no other who fought so long to oppose the evil forces of this world.”

Galadriel looked in wonder in his eyes as his words and touch attempted to take away a part of the shadow that had fallen over her. She heard his words and continued to listen as the music of his voice filled her heart. “I do not think it your  fate  to be left here until the end of Arda, Galadriel. But I am not one of the Valar and so I do not know what they will do. All I can say to you now is to keep faith and hope and continue to fight as you have always done.”

She turned away from him and bowed her head, as a subordinate would do to his lord or lady. While Glorfindel’s words brought her some small ease, they could not take away the shadow of the Doom of Mandos, for it still lingered upon her and for as far as she knew, she would always carry it with her. “The fight against darkness will intensify. It may go on forever if hope fails. Is the eternal fight against darkness the price I have to pay before I can enter the land of my birth? Still I do have too much pride to beg at the knees of the Valar. Perhaps that is my faith. To remain because of the pride I still have, until it is gone so that the Valar will see me at their knees. Would they allow me entrance then?”

Glorfindel stepped backwards and lowered his eyes. “That I do not know. There is only so much I can see from here.”

As Galadriel was silent, returning to the world of her mind. Glorfindel turned towards the stairs once more and was ready to return to the upper grounds of Caras Galadhon and finish the preparations for the journey to Imladris when he heard Galadriel’s voice. She was singing as she looked at the stars. For a moment he remained to look at her as she stood there underneath the roof of golden leaves, singing the sorrow of her heart.

 

_“A! Elbereth Gilthoniel!_   
_Silivren penna míriel_   
_O menel aglar elenath_   
_Gilthoniel! A Elbereth!_   
_We still remember, we who dwell_   
_In this far land beneath the trees_   
_The Starlight on the Western Seas”_


End file.
